David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
