I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
