There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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