dude i'm inner monologue high
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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