I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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