Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
