I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
