first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need water and some morals
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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