we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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