In America we eat man semen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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