whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
