God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My sheets look like a crime scene.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
