remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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