In the future we'll all be gay
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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