her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
