Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
