My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
