found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
