I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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