belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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