Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
