Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
