i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
