I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
