Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
