so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
