Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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