I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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