Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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