I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
