i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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