my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
