go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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