I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize