theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize