So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
