It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
