Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
