can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
