This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
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I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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