I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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