Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
