4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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