First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
