My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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