If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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