How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
