dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
