His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
