Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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