woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
