I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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