She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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