"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
