Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
