You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
