i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
