I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i may or may not be watching the land before time
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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