I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
