me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
