I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
