yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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