Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
