Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
