it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
