Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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