Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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