why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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