I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
